Cupcakes my remix
by miku's a brony
Summary: You all know the horrible fanfiction cupcakes...well here my alliterative ending.


Cupcakes (Ultimate Remix)

The air was warm, the sun was shining, and all of Ponyville was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling and crowded. Busy ponies were making their busy way through the streets. All the pony folk seemed to have somewhere to be. All, except Rainbow Dash. Her place was in the sky. She freely tore through the air, speeding one way and the next. She buzzed the tree tops and raced the wind. The pegasus swooped over a schoolyard, much to the delight of the children. Climbing several hundred feet, she dove, going as fast as she could. Seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open and she took off back into the clear blue. Rainbow felt alive.

Then she remembered that she had somewhere to be; she supposed to meet with Pinkie Pie in five minutes. She'd gotten so caught up in her exercises that she nearly forgot.

Pinkie had asked Dash to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. She didn't say why or what they'd be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue flying. But, Dash's conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie's feelings; after all, she said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. She considered it and thought "why not." What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull off on folks. They'd so much fun the last time. Dash kicked it into overdrive, mostly to make for lost time, and sped to her appointment.

When she walked into the store, she was immediately greeted with her host bouncing in excitement.

"Yay, you're here, you're here. I've been waiting allll day." Said the jumping pony.

"Sorry if I'm a little late, Pinkie. I was doing my afternoon exercises and lost track of time." Dash apologized.

Pinkie giggled and responded, her tone gleefully reassuring, "Oh that's ok, you're here now. What's a few more minutes. I've been sooooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we're gonna do, I haven't stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breath I've been so happy."

Dash gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She always appreciated Pinkie's friendly, outgoing way of life, but her overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out. Dash was polite, however. If Pinkie was got this worked up, then it must good; whatever it was.

"So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? I've got everything all ready." The pink one said.

Dash psyched herself up. " You betcha, Pinkie. You what do ya got planed? We gonna prank somebody? I got a couple of good ones I've been thinking about. Or maybe you got some stunts you think I should try? Or maybe…"

"MAKING CUPCAKES!" Pinkie happily announced.

"Baking"? Dash was disappointed. "Pinkie, you know I'm not good baking. Remember the last time?"

"Oh that's not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I'll be doing most of the work." Pinkie explained.

Dash thought for about it for a second and replied, "Well, alright, I guess that's ok. What exactly do need me to do"?

"That's the spirit. Here you go." Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake.

Dash was puzzled "I thought I was helping you bake."

"You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.

"So, is this like taste testing or something?"

"Sorta" Pinkie said.

Dash shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad.

"Ok, now what?" Dash asked.

"Now," Pinkie informed "You take a nap."

Upon hearing that, Dash felt lightheaded. Her world spun and ,seconds later, she dropped to the floor.

When Dash regained conciseness, she found herself in a dark room. She tried to shake her head but found that the taut leather strap kept it firmly in place. She struggled to move, but the braces around her chest and limbs glued her to the upright planks. Her legs were spread wide apart. The only part of her not tied down were her wings as the frame was backless. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped into her line of sight.

"Goodie, you're awake. Now we can get started." She gleefully stated. She was pushing a cart covered with a cloth.

"Pinkie, what's going on? I can't move!" Dash said in a worry.

"Well, duh, you're tied down." Pinkie chided "That's why you can't move. I didn't think you needed to told that."

"But why? What's happening? I thought you said I was going to help make cupcakes."

"You are helping. You see. I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more."

"Special ingredient"? Dash was now breathing heavily and starting to panic. "What special ingredient"?

Pinkie giggled and responded "You, silly"

Dash's eyes widen, her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh "Woo, really got me there, Pinkie pie. I mean, tricking me in to thinking I'm gonna get made to a cupcake. I gotta tell you, this the best prank yet. You win, you're the best."

Pinkie giggled even more. "Aw, thanks Dash. But I haven't done pranks today, so I can't accept your praise. "

Dash was struggling again. "Pinkie, come on, this isn't funny."

"Then why were you laughing"? Pinkie grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. The top of the tray contained various sharp medical tools and knives carefully organized and ready. There was a medicine bag and several other objects next to them.

Dash was now in full panic mode. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her mind was racing and she tried to reason with the pink pony. "You can't do this Pinkie! I'm your friend!"

"I know you are and that's why I'm so happy it's that I've got you here. We get to share your last moments together, just you and me." She was skipping again.

"But, the other ponies will wonder where I am. When the clouds pile up, they'll come looking for me and then you'll get found out." Dash was desperate.

"Oh, Dash" Pinkie said "don't worry, there are plenty of pegasus to take care of a few clouds. And besides, no will find out. I mean, how long do you think I've been doing this?" And with that the lights suddenly came to life and showcased the rest the room.

"Oh god, no" Dash reeled in horror at the image presented to her. The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails danced around the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were stuck on the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and flesh of past ponies. Dash cringed at the center piece on the table nearest to her. The heads of four foals, their eyes closed like they were sleeping, wearing party hats made from their own skin. She recognized one of them as Apple Bloom's classmate. Her eyes darted back and forth and then gazed up at the patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from several pony hides, the words "Life is a party" were scrawled in red.

Dash's attention was stolen by a party horn unfurling and tickling her nose. She saw Pinkie Pie standing in front of her. The party pony was wearing a dress quilted from cutie marks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all different colors. As she skipped in excitement, her necklace of unicorn horns loudly clacked together.

"Like it"? She asked "I made it myself."

Dash pleaded. "Pinkie please, I'm sorry if I did anything to you. I didn't mean it. Please let me go. I promise I won't tell anybody."

"Oh Dash, you didn't do anything. It's just that your number came up and, well, I don't make rules. We can't turn back now."

Rainbow Dash was tearing up. How could this be happening?

"Aww don't be sad Dash" Pinkie said "Look this'll cheer you up. I brought you a friend."

Out of seemingly nowhere, Pinkie displayed a blue and yellow painted skull. It was about pony sized, but it had a very defining feature: a beak.

Dash was freaking out. "Is…is that….is…that?"

""Hey, Dash lets hang together. These ponies are lame-os. Dweebs dweebs dweebs." Pinkie mimicked. "I caught her right before she left town. Remember when I left the party for about twenty minutes? That wasn't enough time to play with her of course, I had to wait till after the party to do that. But boy am I glad I did. It was worth for the flavor alone. Griffons taste like two animals at once, it's amazing. I know she didn't have number like everyone else in Ponville, but when was I gonna get another chance to try a griffon. I hindsight, I probably should have asked where she came from so I can get more, but I forgot. I'll tell you what though, she was quite the fighter. Lasted a long time, which was fun for me, I got chance to play with somebody other than a pony and try new things. It's too bad she had such a potty mouth. She said so much bad stuff, I had to take her tongue out. You know, bad language makes for bad feelings, Dash."

Dash didn't have anything to say. She just sobbed and writhed.

"Well" Pinkie said, putting the skull down" that's enough reminiscing, it's time to begin." She picked up a scalpel and walked over to Dash's right flank. Without any flair, she placed the blade an inch above her cutie mark and started a circular cut around it. Her lungs working overtime, Dash shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away. But the braces held her still. Finishing the incision, Pinkie grabbed the curved skinning knife from the tray. She worked it under the skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Dash ground her teeth as she tearfully watched as her flesh came off. Pinkie then moved to the other side and completed the other flank. Once she was done, Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms. Dash just whimpered. Her thighs burned.

Placing the skin down, Pinkie selected the large butcher knife and walked behind Rainbow Dash.

"Hope you don't mind, I think I'm gonna wing it now. " Pinkie laughed. She grabbed the left one and played with it for a second. Then, stretching the wing out, she brought the blade down at the base. Instantly, Dash screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Pinkie Pies aim. She tried to hit the mark again but missed wide and put a huge slice in Rainbow's back.

"Dash, you gotta stay still or I'll keep missing."

She took another whack and hit the target. She swung again and again, blood spraying into the air, but realized she wasn't getting anywhere. The blade just wasn't going through the bone.

"Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I'll try something else." She stated as she tossed the knife over her shoulder; the blade embedding itself in the table.

The crying Rainbow Dash heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.

"Got it! Say Dash, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn't hack; hacking is what I was doing with the knife. This is a saw. I don't get it."

Pinkie placed the tool over the last attempt. It effortlessly sailed through the bone and skin. The painful feeling of the teeth grinding biting into her made Dash want to vomit. She watched helplessly as her wing flew over her head and land with a fluff on the table. Pinkie moved the next and started sawing. Dash didn't struggle this time; she'd given up trying to fight and just cried. Then the sawing abruptly paused. Pinkie was only half way done, the wing hanging off by only a sliver.

"Hey Dash" she piped up "think fast"

Suddenly, she yanked the wing as hard as sure could. The bone snapped but the skin held tight. The pull ripped a long strip flesh down Dash's back to her rump. The unexpected trauma caused her body seize. She felt the warm release between legs as her pelvis tensed up. Dash's loud, unending melody of pain filled the room. Unable to catch her breath, she blacked out.

She awoke with a gasp. The stench of her urine filled her mucus caked nostrils. She saw a very pouty Pinkie Pie removing the adrenaline needle from her chest. Stomping her hooves, the frustrated Pinkie lashed out.

"Didn't anybody teach you any manners? It's very rude to fall asleep when somebody invites you over to spend time with them. How would like if I came over to your house and went to sleep. "Oh I'm sorry Dash, you're boring, I think I'll take a nap." You think I like always doing this by myself. I told you how excited I got when I found you were next. I was excited to have to a friend be here with me while I worked. But NOOOOO! You've got to be inconsiderate. You know, I thought you were tough, I thought you could handle anything. I've had foals stand up better than you. Do I have to baby you? Huh? Is that how you want me to remember you, as a baby?"

She stopped to catch her breath. Dash blinked and softly cried. Her back was on fire.

Pinkie then popped something red into her mouth and began to chew. She noticed Dash was staring at her.

"What?" she asked. "Oh this?" Holding up another piece. "Well, while YOU were asleep, I got a little impatient and helped myself sample. I got it from your leg, you're not bad. Wanna try some"?

Without waiting for a response, she shoved the strip of meat into the revolted Rainbow Dash's mouth. She immediately spit it out. Pinkie picked up. "if you didn't want it, you could have said no." She then ate the discarded snotty morsel. "It's not like you haven't had it before."

Swallowing, she turned her attention to the small can on the tray. She removed the lid, revealing that it was filled with burning coals. Sitting on top of the fire were several large nails. Dash began to panic again. Pinkie picked up the can and walked over to Dash's left. Carefully picking up a nail and grabbing a hammer, she positioned the spike at the seam between her leg and her hoof.

"No! Pinkie NO!" Dash screamed. "NO! NO!"

The hammer came down and the nail punctured under her skin. The white hot burning was too much. Dash pulled and thrashed at the brace, her skin rubbed and tore. Pinkie tried to line up another one, but couldn't find her aim. She let out a frustrated grunt. When she pulled the hammer back to take a wild swing, Dash burst out crying and begging.

"PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!"

Pinkie rolled her eyes. Putting hammer back down, she walked back in front of her friend. She stared pensively at the broken pegasus. Gilda didn't even cry this much when she stuck that live parasprite down her throat. Pinkie thought for a minute about what to do next. Then there was a sudden spark in her imagination. She grabbed the gear wheel on the rack and laid Rainbow Dash on her back. She moved to Dash's hind legs, bringing the can with her. Pinkie picked up the hammer again and she drove a searing piece of metal into the bottom of Dash's hoof. Dash screamed again: Pinkie put one into the other hoof. Next she located the small generator on the tray. Tying the copper wires to the nails, she gave Dash a wink and flipped the switch. Electricity rocketed through Dash's body. The blue pony reacted immediately; body seized, muscles struck taut. Her hips thrust skyward and her eyes rolled back. She let out a deep, throat shredding cry. Pinkie giggled and danced in place. She turned up the juice. Dash convulsed uncontrollably. Her bladder emptied once more.

After about five minutes, Pinkie shut off the power. The area smelled lightly of cooked flesh and burnt enamel. She put Dash upright again and tried snap the delirious and drooling pony to back to attention.

"Dash. Daaash. Wake up." Rainbow Dash managed to give her a modicum of weak acknowledgment.

Pinkie reached into the medicine bag and produced and large syringe. "Alright, time for the last round"

Dash looked at the needle and Pinkie took that as a question as to what it was.

"Something to take the pain away" she informed as she walked around to Dash's ruined back side. She stuck the needle into the lower part of her spine. Dash flinched.

Coming to the front again, she told her friend, "In a few minutes, you won't be able to feel anything below your ribcage. Then you'll be able to stay awake to watch the harvest."

Dash started to cry again. "Pinkie" she trembled out.

"Yeah?"

"I want to go home." Dash openly sobbed.

"Yeah, I can see wanting to do that." The party pony replied. "Sometimes, I just wanna give up, say "I'm done with this mess" and go to bed. But you know what; you can't shrug off your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on. That's to the only way you're gonna get ahead in life."

Dash cried.

Minutes passed and the drug took effect. Dash was numb from her chest to her flanks. Aware of this, Pinkie approached with her scalpel. With only a smiling glance to Dash, "Almost done Dash." She laughed. "Enough wasting time." Pinkie said as she was about to stab Dash. But then a miracle happened. Pinkie was pushed down by…Pinkie? Except this Pinkie was crying like crazy. Then Twilight ran in and looked at the almost dead Dash and gasped in fear. "That's enough Gilda!" Twilight said. "What?" Dash said. She looked at the bones of "Gilda" and looked at the two Pinkies. The one with the scalpel started to laugh. The other was crying in rage. She punched the other and said "Stop laughing you b-b-b-b-BITCH!". The pony was punched..she started to transform into Gilda. Dashes eyes went wide "But how I thought you died?" She asked. "Let me explain Dash," Twi said. "Gilda came to my house yesterday and attacked me, She said that she wanted me to transform her into Pinkie. I refused but then she beat me up and I did, Then to make a dress that looked like cutie marks, then fakes bones , and etc." Twilight took a breath. Gilda then kicked Pinkie into Dash. Dash squealed in pain. "Dash I'm sorry…I should have came sooner." Pinkie cried in sorrow. "It's ok Pinkie…Just kicked her sorry ass." Dash said with a smile. Pinkie looked up a Gilda who had dropped the scalpel. "Why did you do this Gilda, Huh?" Pinkie said mad. "Because you damn lame ass people took her away so I had to make her pay." Gilda said while laughing. "Well time to end this you psycho bitch!" Pinkie said jumping at the Griffin. "Don't worry Dash were going to get you out and fix you! It will be a long time but you will be ok!" Twilight said using her magic to free Dash. Pinkie and Gilda were going at it. Peck peck peck. Stomp stomp stomp. Gilda finally knocked down Pinkie. "Time to end this stupid pony." Gilda said about to kill Pinkie. Pinkie looked next to her and saw the scalpel. She grabed it and stuck it through Gildas heart. Gilda coughed blood and fell. She started to scream damnit again again and again. Pinkie pie got up and looked below at Gilda. She gave a angry look and then began to stabbed rapidly stab the Griffin until she died. She looked at the corpse and fell to the ground crying. " I have become the monster I killed." She cried out. Rainbow dash limped to Pinkie and said" You are nothing like her…I promise..but please don't make pony cupcakes." She chuckled. "Alright buddy." Pinkie said hugging Dash and Twilight. Twilight fixed up dash after 2 weeks and everything was back to normal….Or so we thought.


End file.
